YOU KNOW YOUR ALBANIAN WHEN...

1.You are 36 and your mother still makes your bed. (hopefully not)
2.You can name a gun just by the sound it makes when it fires. (hahah sometimes..)
3.You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm or you wear it on a necklace. ( i have the necklace!)
4.There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway. (hahah yes true)
5.Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles in 5 feet of snow barefoot up hills and mountains just to go to school. (lol)
6.Raki is like holy water in your house you use it to cure all illnesses. (its true )
7.You wear an armani shirt when u work out or go to the gym. (nope, sean john, close enough though..)
8.The only cigarettes u smoke are marlboro reds and the only beer u drink is heineken. (don't smoke, don't drink)
9.You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your 9mm in the middle of the street during the wedding gathering. (oh gosh i hope not)
10.When you're a girl and your brother beats up your guy-friends cause he thinks they're your boyfriends. (lmao! that's soo true!)
11.There has been a time when u were in Albanian Chat for 7 straight hours. (haha nahhh)
12.You open up a million dollar business and if it doesn't work out u burn it down and collect insurance. (that's something i would do)
13.At least one time in your life u have owned a BMW M3 (not yet)
14.You have atleast one cousin who's in jail for murder. (.....)
15.Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know their name u just call them "ej Shqipe" (YES!)
16.All of your dads co-workers know the history of Albania and Albanians. (who doens't know the history of albania? )
17.You dress up just to take the garbage out.
18.You didn't pass kindergarten because your parents never taught you how to speak English. (ahhahaa not in my case)
19.You start smoking at the age of 13. (nope)
20.You live in places like New York, Toronto, New Jersey and Michigan. (nope)
21.Your grandfather wears that white egg looking Albanian hat
22.You own a leather jacket. (yes i do!)
23.You either own a restaurant, Coney island, pizzeria, building, hotel, or construction company. (hahha not yet)
24.You have atleast one aunt or uncle who lives in the Bronx. (uh... idk.)
25.Your father is always trying to unite the Albanian community. (hahahhahaha)
26.You drive the most expensive car at your school. (that's a yes)
27.Your neighbors understand words like "t'qifsha nonen" and "vdeksh ishalla" (lmao! yes they probably do!)
28.All the hot Albanian guys/girls are somehow related to you (so true)
29.You go to Albanian parties and functions just to show off (i'll admit it)
30.Your mother calls all cerials "cherriosa" (doesn't everybody?)
31.You can be killed in a blood feud and be known as a family hero. (why not?)
32.You got in trouble in 10th grade when u spray painted an Albanian eagle on your highschool wall (hahah should've done that)
33.Your favorite hockey player is tie domi just because he's Albanian. (don't like hockey, but Tie Domi rocks!)
34.You met your future husband/wife on AOL (uh.. weird..)
35.You are known to vandalize nightclubs with your boys and cousins (....)
36.You can be heard 3 blocks away blasting sinan hoxha and bujar qamili greatest hits (yess!!!!!)
37.You have more alcohol in your house then the local bar (...no comment)
38.Your mom yells at you in Albanian infront of your American girlfriends. (ahhahahha)
39.You invite 1,000 people to your wedding and you only know 300 of them. (that's always the case!)
40.Your grandmother steals silverware from restaurants. ( wow i hope not)
41. Yourr mom beats you up infront of ur teacher. (LMAO)
42. You no your albanian wen you see a hot girl u say! "O NONE O NONEEEEEEEE" !!!!!!!!!!!!! (AHAHHAHAHAH)
43.You claim every famous white rapper is part Albanian. (uh..)
44.You can pronounce words like: gjergj, qyrra, gjeagjez etc. (yesss)
45.You you always talk about Albanian History infront of others. (hahah i never shut up about it!)
46.You'r dad enourages you to drink raki because it makes u a man. (or a woman)
47.You pretend to talk on your cell just to look cool. (everyone does that!)
48.When you use "Kos" (yogurt) to soothe your sunburn. (i dont sunburn)
49.your parents beat the shit out of you with a tree branch!!! (LMAO.. NO!)
50.you have a big freaking head!!! (sometimes! )
51.You can spot an Albo a mile away. (we're so distinguishable, because nobody else can look this good )
52.When half of your relatives drive a Benz or a BMW. (ahhaha so true!)
53.Your relatives alone could populate a small city. (yess we're a big family!)
54.You always say "open the light", instead of "turn the light on". (doesn't everybody?)
55.You say bye 15 times before hanging up the phone. (its called respect (: )
56.Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls. (LMAO!! that is true! )
57.You know youre Albanian when youre always getting into a fight at a bar or club. (....)
58.Youre Albanian when your mom kicks youre ass with a wooden spoon and youre married. (not married yet)
59.When none of your friends can be with ur ex boyfriend/girlfriend (lol)
60.You have never been grounded, you just got ur ass beat. (hhaha that's true!)
61.You get yelled and hit for getting hurt (LMAO! typical albanian!)
62.You're obsessed with soccer: you either play it urself or watch it 24/7... no matter whose playing. (favorite team=ALBANIA)
63.There is no such thing as talkin in normal tones... only yelling... (that is true!)
64.Your house is full of medicine from Albania and it's probably all illegal here. (it is illegal )
65.your parents have never gone on vacation anywhere but Albania. (bc albania is the best)
66.you carry RAKI back here from Albania in plastic coke or water bottles under tons of clothing in the suitcase. ( LMAO!! everybody does it!)
67.You don't talk back to your dad cause you know his hand is equivalent to a 2x4... (lololol!)
68.You know how to swear in manny different languages!
69.When you have a collection of Kalashnikovs (ak-47) back home (....)
70.When after you finish eating at a restaurant, your parents will check the bill 25 times and make sure its right and re check with a calculator on their cell. (lol maybe i'll try that)
71.When j-walking comes naturally to you
72.You know your Albanian when the solution of any of your problems is violence (lmaooo)
73. When you blame others for your mistakes and younever admit your wrong. (ahhahaha WE ARE NEVERRRR WRONG!)
74. when you wear albanian clothes to show that you are patriotic. (ALBANIAN PRIDE!)
75. when you have a huge ass albanian flag hanging in your room or balcony. (i have two)
76.Je i bindur se gjithcka eshte nje konspiracion kunder teje dhe vendit tend. (ahahhaha better be safe than sorry!)
77.Je kusheri me gjysmen e njerezve qe njeh. (haha love my cousins)
78.Ke bere nje ekskursion me shkollen ne Kruje. (not yet)
79.Kur je jashte nuk do te kesh te besh me shqiptaret. (thats not true)
80.Mamaja jote e ka mbeshtetur jeten mbi leximin e filxhanit te kafese. (ahha i've done that before)
81.Je ne tavoline me 2 miq dhe nderkohe keni 4 ide te ndryshme politike. (....)
82.Degjon prinderit qe flasin kur je akoma 100 m larg nga shtepia. (hahahah we're loud!)